The Lottery
Transcript film opens on a street scene at night. Black and white. Title on screen: The Lottery walks down the sidewalk, towards the camera. As he passes it, a figure steps out from beside the building. It's also Craig (but in a sportscoat). He follows Craig. The Craig without the sportscoat walks down the sidewalk with the Craig in a sportscoat not far behind, following him. Craig in a sportscoat runs a little bit, then hides, as he follows Craig without a sportscoat down an alley. Craig walks up to a door, takes out his keys, goes inside. Craig goes up the stairs, unlocks his apartment door, and goes inside. As he steps into his apartment, he sees a figure sitting at his kitchen table, sitting in the shadows, eating chips and salsa. Craig: Who are you? figure leans forward into the light. It's Craig with the sportscoat. with the sportscoat: Hi! Craig: What's going on? with the sportscoat: I'm you. Two months from now. Craig: What? That's crazy. from the future: I'll prove it. out a gun and shoots Craig in the arm. Craig: You shot me! from the future: I shot me too. arm is in a sling. Still hurts. Owww. What hurts more is the doctor bill. Craig: What do you want? Money? from the future: I want something more than just money or valuables or... wait, no, wait, I do want money. Craig: If you're who you say you are, then you know I don't have any. from the future: Uh uh. I got some good news. For me. Which is also you. And some bad news for you. Craig: Which is also you. from the future: What? Shut up. That lottery ticket in your pocket, pull it out. That's going to make us rich. Craig: What? Is it a winner? from the future: Yes indeed. But don't cash it in right away. Craig: Why not? from the future: Well, that's what I did. Kinda spent it all on food and booze. Craig: You spent 203 million dollars on food and booze? from the future: Oh, and hookers. But the booze was really good. Craig: That's amazing that you were able to do that. from the future: Oh yeah, and I also carved my face... and your face ... in Mount Rushmore. Had to pay the government a pretty penny for that one. Craig: Well, that's pretty cool. from the future: Yeah it is. Spent a long time on that nose, though. Probably shouldn't have done that. It was a little too crooked. I digress. Anyway, give me the ticket. Craig: What? No! from the future: Seriously. I'm going to cash it again in the future so I can enjoy all that money again. more chips and salsa Craig: What about me? from the future: Yeah, sorry, man. You're just going to have to wait. Craig: No way! from the future: You'd do the same thing. Trust me. Craig: Like hell! pauses Well, I guess I probably would. from the future: You would. Craig: If you know me so well, then you know I'm going to do this. to run out of the apartment from the future shoots Craig Craig: Oww... you shot my other arm! with both arms in the sling, Craig from the future says: This one hurts more. opens the door to run. from the future shoots again falls. from the future laughs: Heh. Hehehehehe. from the future walks up to Craig, who lies on the floor motionless with the lottery ticket still in his hand Gotcha. Alright, now give me the ticket. Oh wait, did I kill you? from the future starts to fade away. Aww sh.... from the future disappears. dot com outro Recurring themes clone, chips and salsa, time travel, standalone movie Note This film is in black and white. Standalone movies This is one of several standalone movies that Wheezy made on his channel in 2008, breaking from his usual vlogging style. The other standalone films, some of which include some recurring Wheezy techniques (such as the use of clones) but still represent a break from his usual style of videos, are Take On Chores, Bug Junk!, and The Trophy Thief.